I was watching Big Brother last night and Amanda was speaking how she felt because she wasn’t in control of the house.
Scared and powerless.
She knew that because she was trying to manipulate everyone that eventually it would come back to bite her in the ass. And when it did she lost it.
Unfortunately for her, she never realized that we are all powerless, we do not control others thoughts or actions. I cannot make anyone do anything. I can make suggestions and maybe someone will follow them.
Here is an example of forced suggestion, “What is your favorite animal? A mole, a sloth, a puppy?”
Anyone pick mole? No, we go straight to puppy, like the magician wants us to.
The beginning of addiction is marked by the struggle for control; its conclusion, the loss of control and disaster or rock-bottom.
Addicts use everything when they are using, drugs, people, shopping, anything to make the pain go away. Amanda may not see how addicted she is, not to drugs, but to the drama, the control, the using.
Amanda is good at her manipulation of the others in her surroundings. Like the magician that gets the people to pick the forced suggestion. But what happens when they don’t?
When the suffering comes we seek what we know, what feels comfortable.
One thing Amanda can’t control is her feelings and she self-destructs because she can’t. She does what has worked for her in the past; she bullies everyone till it makes her feel better. Others in the real world might grab a bottle or baggie of something stronger. It is what they know has fixed their pain in the past.
This is of course the quick fix, the problems and feelings still remain. So what is the real solution? Accepting the situation and knowing that if we stop trying to control the outcome, it will eventually work out. We will get through it.
We are not in control of the feelings when they come. “Powerless.”
But we are in control of our choices. “Powerful.”